I’ve been talking about writing and illustrating kid’s books for quite a while now. I love to paint. LOVE. But it never seemed like there was enough time. I would work all day in a prop shop for a regional theater, The Arvada Center, and just wanted to chill when the work day was done. I always said that I “spend all my creative capital” at work.

And then, Covid 19 happened. Suddenly life was smaller, and at times, scary.

But, the universe had given me time. Finally. And I was one of those “Covid overachievers” right away. I repainted my downstairs, finished the garden, reorganized the family photos. Then, after a couple of false start book projects, I finally met Seymor. He came to me in a flash, and I could see four books almost right away! So I got to work!

And then I got the phone call. “You have DCIS, bad diagnosis, but good prognosis. How do you feel?”

Um. Bad?!?! How the heck do I have cancer??? No family history, 45 years old, wtf?

Sometimes, you just do. Cells misbehave in all of us - all the time, but usually their neighbors will kick them out of the neighborhood (the body) before cancer can form. But sometimes, they don’t. It’s random and it’s terrifying. I know that some people wear the badge Survivor right away, and with gusto! But not me. I was petrified. Jobless, during a pandemic, and now I was a woman with breast cancer at a young age. It was too much. So I hid inside CBS All Access for a while. It took binging several seasons of Big Brother before I dared to return to the playground of my mind. See, for me, painting occupies a different place in my consciousness. My eyes glaze, my brain hums… it’s a whole different vibration from real life. And usually its a happy space, where my heart jumps as I realize how to handle a character and I get excited as a painting comes into focus. But when you get a diagnosis like that, it creeps into every waking thought you have. “Ah what a nice breeze, I wonder how many more summers I will get.” “The cat sneezed, I wonder if he will outlive me.”

Scary. Difficult. Stuff.

But the itch to create slowly returned. And by the time surgery was over and radiation was ready to get underway, I was in the flow again. I spent weeks doing the background paintings for Seymor, then developing the look of Seymor and Fooey. I took in a steady diet of hospital visits, inspirational talk TV, and honing the edges of my imagination. From time to time I would bring some of the work to the hospital to show the radiation techs and nurses there. They were so supportive! They helped me see the work with fresh eyes. They wanted to know when it would be for sale! So I set a goal of Thanksgiving, and I very nearly made it. Seymor was released on Dec 4th, 2020. And I was overwhelmed with gratitude by the response! It did well, for my first book and zero marketing. I’m learning all of that stuff now and will have the mechanisms in place for the next book, You Can Do It, Rudy Poots!

A cancer diagnosis changed everything for me. I don’t take my time for granted anymore, and that urgency keeps me hopping! I’m one of those people who believes there are no coincidences. To all things, a reason. Sometimes good things come out of bad things. And even though 2020 was a smelly dumpster fire of a year, I came out of it feeling grateful. Because I will get more tomorrows.